When I walked into the chapel this morning and several sisters were already in their seats,  I was certain that Mother Mary Ann had already chosen one of them to light the candles in the advent wreath. I admit that I was a little disappointed.  

So you can imagine my surprise when she walked up to me and handed me the lighter!  

I was filled with a childlike joy that I would get to light the candles for the second Sunday in a row!  

After the traditional prayers and the candles were lit, I returned to my seat and began to ask the question, "Why?  Why was I so excited to light all three candles? ".

As I gazed at the three flickering flames I recalled the first Sunday of Advent when I began reading daily reflections in A Child in Winter by Caryll Houselander with commentary by Thomas Hoffman.  I was invited to walk with Mary and “grow pregnant with God together” and “to grow large with the abundance of God’s favor”.

In my prayer I have been imagining Christ growing in me and all that goes along with expecting a child.  I trust that He is growing in me even though I don’t feel Him moving yet.  

What will it feel like when I recognize His stirrings?  What will He look like in my life?  What will His personality be? 

I take more times to rest and allow myself to be with Him in silence and prayer as He grows in me. 

At times I get impatient; I want to see Him now!  But no, I need to “wait patiently on his own timing of His growth” in me.  I don’t want Him to come prematurely. 

So, as I look at the three candles that are lit in the advent wreath I realize I am excited because I feel like I am looking at a pregnancy ticker that counts down the days until the due date.  

The time of His arrival is coming and soon it will be here! 

Rejoice!  Rejoice, Believers!  

_ Sr. Sophia Grace Huschka, TOR