Words that I Never Imagined I Would Say Together

This is my first New Year's Eve at our convent. 

I never imagined I would say such words together - "New Year's Eve" and "convent". But here I am - my first Holy Hour of the evening- 11PM to 12AM... ringing in the New Year with Our Lord Jesus Christ.

I have celebrated New Years in different ways over the years. The earliest memory I have is when my sister, Crissy, and I dressed up like Father Time and Baby New Year and surprised our parents with a song. (I'm the youngest...can you guess who was baby New Year)? No - there are no photos! I spent other New Years with family - a couple weddings and then sleepovers with my niece and nephew!!

But for some years my New Year's Eve was spent at parties and bars (and yes all that you can imagine that goes along with that).

At that time, 11AM,  the night was just beginning - or so I thought. Hours later I wouldn't really sleep and would wake the next morning hungover, feeling ill and attempting to celebrate New Year’s Day - not even realizing it was the Solemnity of Mary, the Most Holy Mother of God. I would make resolutions, sometimes half-hearted or so superficial they never lasted.

After my husband died I soon changed pace and didn't go out anymore. I stayed home and usually went to bed before midnight. I made no resolutions for the New Year. I kind of felt lost - in a limbo for a bit.

And now I sit here in chapel - praising the Lord and thanking Him for "…saving a wretch like me who was lost and now found, was blind but now I see." 

The chapel is dimmed; the candles are lit on the altar. It is silent except for the humming of the lights. I am no longer celebrating in a drunken stupor trying to numb the emptiness within or avoiding intimacy by being alone.

I am here in the presence of Christ. There is no one else I would rather be with

It is such a gift to be able to pray in reparation for my own sins and for those of the whole world; interceding for others and for those who may have fallen into the same "traditions" that I had for some time. Praying for safety, conversion - freedom from addictions and darkness.

I will be back in a couple hours from 3AM-4AM to pray some more. 

It feels good to be able to do this and to be here. This is where I want to be. This is where I long to be. This is my deepest desire.

And yes I did make a resolution this year! What is my resolution? It echoes Blessed Michelina of Pesaro, "I...desire to serve God better than I have till now."  I pray the Lord will grant me the grace to be able to do so, to love and serve Him with all my heart.

I am praying for all - that this New Year may be a blessed year in the arms of Our Merciful Father. Our Lady, Most Holy Mother of God - pray for us!

May the Lord bless you and keep you!
The Lord let His face shine upon you,
and be gracious to you!
The Lord look kindly upon you and give you peace!
(Numbers 6:24-26) 
-Sr. Mary Michelina, novice


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3 comments:

  1. Beautiful words! Please pray for me and my family, Sister. A blessed New Year to You!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello! Thank you! A blessed new year for the world! Needs badely!
    (Sorry about the english).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Blessings in the New Year!!! praying for you and all the Sisters!!!

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